It doesn’t matter what you do – it is inevitable that you are going to get push back at various points throughout your life. The objection cycle is a technique to change a “No” to “Yes” and can be used just about anywhere. This is extremely useful to know both in terms of getting a Yes and being aware when other people are trying to use it on you.
There are 5 steps to the objection cycle:
1. “I completely agree and understand…”
The first thing you want to do is say that you agree and understand with what they are saying – the last thing you want to do is disagree with them right off the bat. In a negotiation the best thing you can do is genuinely understand where they’re coming from – this isn’t to persuade them, but more so to make the conversation easier.
2. Restate their logic
Whatever their reasoning was to say no, restate it. You want to paraphrase what they said before, especially to make sure you’re both on the same page and there isn’t any miscommunication.
3. “At the same time,”
This is important – this is the leading sentence. The first 2 steps are where you pace what they said about how you understand, and then this sentence sets up your disagreement. MAKE SURE you say “at the same time” and NOT “but.” Neuro-linguistically, the word “but” negates anything before it. For example, when people say “I love you but…” your mind reads that as “I don’t love you because…” This sentence allows you to show your objection but in a non-threatening way.
4. State a reason why they should think otherwise
This is where your debating skills come in. You need to think of a reason why they should do whatever the action is (if you want them to buy something, do you a favor, etc) and say it in a non-threatening way. You also want to word it in a way that directly refutes their original logic but takes it into account.
5. Ask the question again
Ask the questions again, but here’s the biggest thing – after you ask the question, don’t say ANYTHING until they talk. If you say something additional after the question is asked your value instantly drops. I’ve known people who have literally waited a couple minutes for the person to respond – if your in that situation just hold your ground, smile, and wait.
6. Check out Influence and How to Win Friends & Influence People
Influence is one of the best books I’ve seen on the psychological aspects of persuasion and really cities numerous studies and scientific evidence to demonstrate the countless ways we are persuaded.
How to Win Friends & Influence People is an absolute classic that discusses the numerous methods Dale Carnegie used in his life to really climb the latter, both financially and business wise.